Jesus in You?

So someone asked me this week, "Do you let your spouse see Jesus in you?" Let's just say I had to stop and think abou this much longer than I am proud to admit.

Ephesian 5:1-2 tells us that we are to "be imitators... and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." So what exactly does Christ's love look like? Well, John 15:13 tells us that there is no greater love than giving of one's own life, and Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ did that very thing for us. He gave is life on our behalf. But even more than loving us, He loves us unconditionally, expects nothing in return, and did so without complaining.

Um... I think I clearly fall short of this. Sure I may be more than willing to run kids all over the place, make dinner, change diapers, do the grocery shopping... But, do I always do it with a joyful heart? Do I always do it in a way that lets my spouse and my kids see Jesus in me?

This also means not being prideful or holding a grudge against my spouse, or kids for that matter. It means freely forgiving them as Christ has forgiven me even when it may seem to be unforgivable (Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25; Philippians 2:5-8). Boy do I still have a ways to go!!!

Love and Respect Principles

So if any of you follow Focus on the Family, I am sure you have heard of the book "Love and Respect" or possibly even heard of their conferences. However, for those of you who aren't familiar with them, you are probably asking your self, "What exactly are they talking about". The basic principle of this book is that most men and women express love and respect differently than their spouse. If both spouses have a need, the other either doesn't understand the need or think the need is different, then they are unable to meet the needs of their spouse.

Based off of Ephesian 5:33, women need love and men need respect. Colossians 3:19 commands a husband to love his wife (unconditionally). Similarly, a husband needs respect (1 Peter 3:1-2). When a wife feels unloved, she often acts disrespectful. When a husband feels disrespected, he often acts unloving causing a viscous cycle to begin. However, when the cycle is broken God can work wonders in the lives of the couple.

You may be saying to yourself right now that's all fine and dandy, but my spouse is so hard to love/respect. That might very well be the case, but Ephesians 5:33 is a command from God, and not a suggestion. Therefore, in order to show the love and respect that your spouse needs you may need chose to believe that your spouse's intentions are good despite the "mess-up" that may currently be taking place.

One thing that God is teaching me in my marriage is that romance doesn't exist every day. Marriage takes work, particularly to help keep minor agreements from becoming major ones. That isn't to say that we won't have disagreements. We are going to get upset with one another, but when we choose to deal with our disagreements in a godly way we can continue to fulfill each others' needs for love and respect despite our differences.

Vindicate the weak and fatherless...

Throughout scripture, several groups are repeatedly mentioned that God wants us to care for . They are orphans (or fatherless), widows, and aliens (or strangers). Clearly these three people groups especially matter to God. Deuteronomy 24:19 illustrates God's care and provision for them, and His desire to see His followers acting as His hands and feet in meeting their basic needs: “When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.”In Proverbs 23:10-11, God’s concern for the fatherless is evident in these words of warning: “Do not move an ancient boundary stone, or encroach on the fields of the fatherless, for their Defender is strong; He will take up their case against you.” God doesn't stop at caring for and defending those close to His heart; rather He places care for the least among us at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Christ. In fact, in James 1:27, God defines pure religion in the context of orphan care: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Not only has God commanded that His people care for those in need, but He has also ordained and modeled the institution of adoption. Anyone who has placed his or her trust in Christ has been adopted into God's family, through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Ephesians 1:4b -5 tells us: … “In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will…” Caring for the fatherless does not simply consist of compassionate and kind acts, nor is adoption an additional means of growing our families to meet our own desires. Rather, caring for the fatherless is at the very heart of God. Caring for the fatherless is about obedience … it is about knowing the God whom we serve.

According to UNICEF, there are over 130 million orphans in the world today. If you were to look more closely at that number, you would find that there are:
•46.6 million orphans in Africa
•72.3 million orphans in Asia
•1.5 million orphans in Eastern Europe
•10.7 million orphans in Latin America and the Caribbean
•500,000 children in the United States Foster Care System
•122,761 of these foster children available for adoption

Clearly there are a number of fatherless children in our world today. More and more Christians are recognizing and understanding God’s heart for the orphan and responding to His clear call by establishing orphans ministries as a part of their local churches. Though some of these churches are now caring for dozens or even hundreds of orphans, most of them began with the vision of one or two people and a desire to see lives transformed by the Gospel one child at a time. Will you consider what God may have you do to minister to these children?

“Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute.” —Psalm 82:3

Foster Parenting... Are you CRAZY...

So I am often asked numerous questions about my kids. There is no way you are a mom of 4? Really how do you have 2 teenagers? Why would you want to be a foster parent? Isn't it hard work being parent to special needs kids? Most people I know in my situation get really frustrated being asked these questions by other people. Not me. I don't mind at all. I see foster care as a mission field, and our family has decided to take in not just foster children, but those that might not otherwise be placed in a foster home and placed in an institution of some kind.

We have found that while the state does not allow foster parents to "proselytize" the children in the care of the welfare system, it doesn't mean that committed foster parents don't have endless opportunities to live out their faith in front of children and adults from various situations. It is an opportunity to really nurture hurting children. It really is a challenge that allows my family the opportunity to put our faith into action. Furthermore, being able to help nurture and encourage these children's parents is just as challenging. However, it can save a family relationship.

Many of the Christian foster care agencies are having to either change their policies or close there doors leaving many children in search of help elsewhere. One thing that my husband and I have come to understand is that God has called each one of us to minister to those who are less fortunate than us. God sees children as a gift. Therefore, it only makes sense that the Church step up and help out these children in need. Foster homes are desperately needed for all ages of children. Being separated from Mom and Dad is traumatic for children. It is equally, or more difficult, for siblings to be separated. If you have the room in your home, lots of love and patience, maybe this could be your ministry. All of the children need families who will give them unconditional love in a structured, nurturing, and spiritually healthy environment.

Submission?!

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” - Ephesian 5:22-31 (NIV)

I know what you are thinking, "Surely you are talking about some ancient concept that no one really practices anymore." However, no one seems to make the same objection when they hear the words "Servant Leadership" which can also find biblical support from the same passage. This is largely because many people stop at the first few verses and never continue on to read past verse 24. They stop at reading the instructions for wives, and fail to acknowledge that the rest of the passage is for husbands. The second half is also much more challenging in that it provides a form of leadership that is not intended for self-glory, but for the benefit of another person.

So my question to not only you but to myself as well is are you all about yourself and maximizing your own comfort, opportunity, and pleasure, or do you actively seek to serve God's purpose for the benefit of others?