Jesus in You?

So someone asked me this week, "Do you let your spouse see Jesus in you?" Let's just say I had to stop and think abou this much longer than I am proud to admit.

Ephesian 5:1-2 tells us that we are to "be imitators... and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." So what exactly does Christ's love look like? Well, John 15:13 tells us that there is no greater love than giving of one's own life, and Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ did that very thing for us. He gave is life on our behalf. But even more than loving us, He loves us unconditionally, expects nothing in return, and did so without complaining.

Um... I think I clearly fall short of this. Sure I may be more than willing to run kids all over the place, make dinner, change diapers, do the grocery shopping... But, do I always do it with a joyful heart? Do I always do it in a way that lets my spouse and my kids see Jesus in me?

This also means not being prideful or holding a grudge against my spouse, or kids for that matter. It means freely forgiving them as Christ has forgiven me even when it may seem to be unforgivable (Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25; Philippians 2:5-8). Boy do I still have a ways to go!!!

Love and Respect Principles

So if any of you follow Focus on the Family, I am sure you have heard of the book "Love and Respect" or possibly even heard of their conferences. However, for those of you who aren't familiar with them, you are probably asking your self, "What exactly are they talking about". The basic principle of this book is that most men and women express love and respect differently than their spouse. If both spouses have a need, the other either doesn't understand the need or think the need is different, then they are unable to meet the needs of their spouse.

Based off of Ephesian 5:33, women need love and men need respect. Colossians 3:19 commands a husband to love his wife (unconditionally). Similarly, a husband needs respect (1 Peter 3:1-2). When a wife feels unloved, she often acts disrespectful. When a husband feels disrespected, he often acts unloving causing a viscous cycle to begin. However, when the cycle is broken God can work wonders in the lives of the couple.

You may be saying to yourself right now that's all fine and dandy, but my spouse is so hard to love/respect. That might very well be the case, but Ephesians 5:33 is a command from God, and not a suggestion. Therefore, in order to show the love and respect that your spouse needs you may need chose to believe that your spouse's intentions are good despite the "mess-up" that may currently be taking place.

One thing that God is teaching me in my marriage is that romance doesn't exist every day. Marriage takes work, particularly to help keep minor agreements from becoming major ones. That isn't to say that we won't have disagreements. We are going to get upset with one another, but when we choose to deal with our disagreements in a godly way we can continue to fulfill each others' needs for love and respect despite our differences.

Vindicate the weak and fatherless...

Throughout scripture, several groups are repeatedly mentioned that God wants us to care for . They are orphans (or fatherless), widows, and aliens (or strangers). Clearly these three people groups especially matter to God. Deuteronomy 24:19 illustrates God's care and provision for them, and His desire to see His followers acting as His hands and feet in meeting their basic needs: “When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.”In Proverbs 23:10-11, God’s concern for the fatherless is evident in these words of warning: “Do not move an ancient boundary stone, or encroach on the fields of the fatherless, for their Defender is strong; He will take up their case against you.” God doesn't stop at caring for and defending those close to His heart; rather He places care for the least among us at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Christ. In fact, in James 1:27, God defines pure religion in the context of orphan care: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Not only has God commanded that His people care for those in need, but He has also ordained and modeled the institution of adoption. Anyone who has placed his or her trust in Christ has been adopted into God's family, through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Ephesians 1:4b -5 tells us: … “In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will…” Caring for the fatherless does not simply consist of compassionate and kind acts, nor is adoption an additional means of growing our families to meet our own desires. Rather, caring for the fatherless is at the very heart of God. Caring for the fatherless is about obedience … it is about knowing the God whom we serve.

According to UNICEF, there are over 130 million orphans in the world today. If you were to look more closely at that number, you would find that there are:
•46.6 million orphans in Africa
•72.3 million orphans in Asia
•1.5 million orphans in Eastern Europe
•10.7 million orphans in Latin America and the Caribbean
•500,000 children in the United States Foster Care System
•122,761 of these foster children available for adoption

Clearly there are a number of fatherless children in our world today. More and more Christians are recognizing and understanding God’s heart for the orphan and responding to His clear call by establishing orphans ministries as a part of their local churches. Though some of these churches are now caring for dozens or even hundreds of orphans, most of them began with the vision of one or two people and a desire to see lives transformed by the Gospel one child at a time. Will you consider what God may have you do to minister to these children?

“Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute.” —Psalm 82:3

Foster Parenting... Are you CRAZY...

So I am often asked numerous questions about my kids. There is no way you are a mom of 4? Really how do you have 2 teenagers? Why would you want to be a foster parent? Isn't it hard work being parent to special needs kids? Most people I know in my situation get really frustrated being asked these questions by other people. Not me. I don't mind at all. I see foster care as a mission field, and our family has decided to take in not just foster children, but those that might not otherwise be placed in a foster home and placed in an institution of some kind.

We have found that while the state does not allow foster parents to "proselytize" the children in the care of the welfare system, it doesn't mean that committed foster parents don't have endless opportunities to live out their faith in front of children and adults from various situations. It is an opportunity to really nurture hurting children. It really is a challenge that allows my family the opportunity to put our faith into action. Furthermore, being able to help nurture and encourage these children's parents is just as challenging. However, it can save a family relationship.

Many of the Christian foster care agencies are having to either change their policies or close there doors leaving many children in search of help elsewhere. One thing that my husband and I have come to understand is that God has called each one of us to minister to those who are less fortunate than us. God sees children as a gift. Therefore, it only makes sense that the Church step up and help out these children in need. Foster homes are desperately needed for all ages of children. Being separated from Mom and Dad is traumatic for children. It is equally, or more difficult, for siblings to be separated. If you have the room in your home, lots of love and patience, maybe this could be your ministry. All of the children need families who will give them unconditional love in a structured, nurturing, and spiritually healthy environment.

Submission?!

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” - Ephesian 5:22-31 (NIV)

I know what you are thinking, "Surely you are talking about some ancient concept that no one really practices anymore." However, no one seems to make the same objection when they hear the words "Servant Leadership" which can also find biblical support from the same passage. This is largely because many people stop at the first few verses and never continue on to read past verse 24. They stop at reading the instructions for wives, and fail to acknowledge that the rest of the passage is for husbands. The second half is also much more challenging in that it provides a form of leadership that is not intended for self-glory, but for the benefit of another person.

So my question to not only you but to myself as well is are you all about yourself and maximizing your own comfort, opportunity, and pleasure, or do you actively seek to serve God's purpose for the benefit of others?

Can you be a radical woman in the church - Part 5

But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. - 1 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

This particular verse presents its own issues with being able to understand its relevance to not only the entire passage, but also in its application to life today. First of all, it is difficult to really know what Paul meant when he said "women will be saved through childbearing". Was Paul talking about a specific childbirth (i.e. the birth of Christ)? Also, why is it that Paul seems to have switched from a singular subject to now a plural subject? Was he talking to Eve specifically or to all of womankind?

In light of our current culture, this verse seems even more confusing. Childbearing, by both men and women today, is often thought of as being burdensome. Some circles have even gone as far as to see the bearing and raising of children as a for of bondage for women. However, when this text was written, childbearing was a central element int he definition of womanhood and in the fulfillment of God's calling to mankind.

As a result, I would like to propose the following interpretation of this passage to be that Paul is saying that women in general will be kept safe from seizing men's roles by participating in marital life (symbolized by childbearing), which should also be accompanied by faith, love, holiness, and propriety. Doing so will produce the adornment of good deeds which are appropriate for Christian women (1 Timothy 2:10).

Can you be a radical woman in the church - Part 4

For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. - 1 Timothy 2:13-14 (NIV).

So the previous verse forbid women from teaching and exercising authority over men. But Paul did not stop there. He also gave an explanation in verses 13-14. His arguments were that Adam was formed first and then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; Eve was deceived. In order to fully understand verse 13, it is important to not only make observations about these arguments, but also to consider them in light of Paul's understanding of the first three chapters of Genesis.

Several other places throughout Scripture, Paul references Genesis 1-3 which shed light on his understanding of the passage. Paul's understanding of Genesis was that Adam was formed first (1 Timothy 2:13; Genesis 2:20-22). It is this appeal to Adam's prior formation that is an assertion that Adam's status as the "oldest" carried with it the leadership appropriate to a "first-born" son. This is also seen in Paul's writings in Colossians 1:15-18. Furthermore, Paul's understanding of Genesis is that Eve was taken out of Adam (1 Corinthians 11:8; Genesis 2:21-22), and she was made for Adam's sake (1 Corinthians 11:9; Genesis 2:20).

When looking at verse 14, one cannot help but ask a number of questions:

1. Did Paul mean that Adam new better so he did not sin?
2. Is Paul saying that women are therefore responsible for the fallen state of mankind?
3. So is it because of Eve's sin women now aren't allowed to teach?
4. Is Paul saying that women are gullible and teaching would only further propagate their ignorance?

Romans 5:12-21 makes it clear that Paul did not believe that the cause of the fallen state of mankind lay at the feet of Eve, rather, he specifically placed the responsibility on the shoulders of Adam. Therefore, the argument that Paul is here saying that the fall is Eve's fault is not valid. Instead, verse 14 is trying to say that eve was not at fault because she was deceived; however, Adam was not deceived and deliberately chose to sin making him at fault. Nor is it a valid argument that since Eve was deceived that women cannot teach.

Possibly the best way that I have heard this passage paraphrased to read is by James Hurley, who states that,

The man, upon whom lay responsibility for leadership in the home and in religious matters, was prepared by God to discern the serpents lies. The woman was not appointed religious leader and was not prepared to discern them. She was taken in. Christian worship involves re-establishing the creational pattern with men faithfully teaching God's truth and women receptively listening.

Leaving a biblical legacy for your kids - part 4

So this brings me to my final post on leaving a legacy for your kids (for now at least). As a radical woman for Christ, it is essential that we understand that it is our calling to pass this legacy of biblical womanhood on to the next generation. This includes both our children, as well as the other members of the church body as well. To some extent, it is all of our responsibilities to show and tell the next generation about God, His kingdom, and what it means to be radical women for Christ. This can be done through teaching Sunday school, through spending time with your children and their friends, through church socials, etc. It is through these interactions that they will learn what it means to be a Christian woman. This is also not a new concept for the church body. Each generation is to tell the next generation about Him (Psalms 78:4; Deuteronomy 6:7; Titus 2:3-5). This is our calling as redeemed women.


With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. - 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (NIV)

Can you be a radical woman in the church - Part 3

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. - 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (NIV)

So the next two verses in this passage address the matter of women teaching and exercising authority over a man. It is probably one of the most controversial passages in regards to the roles that women should play in the church today. As a result, this section demands close attention. For starters, it is important that both of these verses be taken together. Verse 11 makes a positive statement, while verse 12 is intended to be a corresponding negative statement.

In understanding this section, it is vital to recognize that in no way is Paul expressing a matter of custom or of personal preference as he did in the previous two verses. Rather, these two verses are given as a command. Furthermore, the argument that this passage is intended to support women not learning is not a valid one. On the contrary, his command specifically presumes that women will learn. Additionally, Paul's intention here is not to require women to learn with "buttoned-lips" but for them to learn in a manner that is quietly receptive and that has submission to God's truth and to the authority.

In looking at this passage further, one must also consider the context for which is was written. Paul was discussing the conduct of Christians in regards to their gathering together in corporate worship. Therefore, these remarks are not intended to be directed to life in general. Furthermore, it is not to imply that women were not allowed to speak in the church setting, and they were certainly free to speak in Pauline churches (1 Corinthians 11). As a result, the context implies that Paul is specifically referring to teaching situations here in 1 Timothy 2. As a result, we can conclude that Paul intended that women should not be authoritative teachers in the church.

Why you might ask? Paul goes on to explain this in the following verses, which will be addressed in Part 4.

Leaving a biblical legacy for your kids - part 3

When Ruth acknowledged the LORD as God, and consciously made the commitment found in Ruth 1:16-17, she understood that she was not only choosing to bind herself to her family but to the larger community as well. This is not a common thought in this day and age. Instead, women are encouraged to seek after self-actualization, to be independent, to be self-sufficient. To not be these things is to be seen as useless. However, when looking at the church body, God's design of the woman as the helper is essential. Therefore, it is essential that we encourage our daughters to see the place as the very place where they should be sharing their gifts with God's people. It is through this sharing of our gifts with the body that we are able to build up one another (Ephesians 4:12-13).

For many women today, serving the church body is seen as senseless. However, it is through this serving of others that the women of the church are able to experience the very essence of community and compassion as Christ intended it to be. For when redeemed women come together this way, they are able to pass on the legacy of biblical womanhood amongst redeemed men who value the very design and calling of the women in their community. Contrary to popular belief, it is this very male "headship" that provides the authority and structure for women to be able to fulfill their design.

Wait... What.. Did she really just say that...

Yes! It is the elders (male leaders) in the church that a biblical woman seeks to submit herself to. This is a voluntary placing of herself in submission to them, and thereby making herself available fr the blessings, benefits, and protection that the church leadership provides. It is also this same understanding of submission to the leadership of the church that prepares young women for the marital relationship in which we are called to submit to our husbands and the blessings, benefits, and protection that he provides for us as well.

For the biblical woman, this idea of male headship is not one that is threatening to her. Rather, it is seen as an opportunity to value the distinctiveness of male and female as a part of God's design and order. This idea of submission has nothing to do with equality or with status in the community. It has everything to do with God's ordained order for achieving oneness in marriage and amongst the body of believers. Furthermore, submission actually frees a woman to be able to fulfill her life-giving mission.

For the biblical wife, this then means that she values her husband as he leads her. She does not want a spouse who coddles her, but pushes her to be strong and to mature. Through this, there is a sense of security in their relationship that can only be found in acknowledging this divine order.

Leaving a biblical legacy for your kids - part 2

One of the most profound aspects of leaving a legacy for my children that I have come to understand is that "It is because of our redemption that we can live out our helper design. Redeeming love breaks the reign of sin in our lives and empowers us to fulfill our creation mission. And it is our knowledge of our Redeemer's love that compels us to do so" (Hunt and Thompson).

So what does that really mean?

It is because of my understanding of God's grace and mercy towards me that I can show the same forgiveness and mercy to others. It is because of His love and acceptance of me, that I am able to show this same unconditional acceptance of others. It is because of His promises to prepare a heavenly home for me that I am not preoccupied with the things of this world, but rather have my sights on things above. Furthermore, God's work in my life has helped me to value the roles that I play as a wife and mother, but also helps me to keep it in a proper perspective. I am able to trust in His sovereignty and His love for my children even when they seem to have their own eyes set on things that are not of Him.

While the married woman can exhibit this very thing in her family relationship, this same concept and understand also is essential for our single sisters in Christ to understand as well. It is equally important for them to recognize their role to be helpers in the church family. They may find themselves assisting the sick and needy, and seeking to train other women of their role in the church body as well.

It is this understanding of our role as women in our families as well as the "corporate" setting of the church body that helps each one of us to realize that each one of us is a gift to the church body. There is an interdependence that exists between not only our own families, but also the large family of families that exist in the church. As such, there is an understanding that an individualist approach is futile.

Can you be a radical woman in the church - Part 2

Okay, so I am already getting backlash from some people about trying to tackle this issue, but part of being a radical woman for Christ is not backing down from the truth just because pressures from society may say otherwise. However, I am also called to love those whom I disagree with. As a result, I pray and hope that for those women who may hold that they are called to be pastor-teachers or elders that God blesses their ministries, despite the fact that I believe that it is a mistake for women to take on such a role. I also believe that many hold to an opposing viewpoint based on the following three misconceptions:

1. 1 Timothy is written to counteract only a specific situation in the life of the church.
2. As such, it cannot be considered to be normative for the church today.
3. Therefore, 1 Timothy contains no directives for the church today.

With that said, I am going to continue on to address 1 Timothy 2:9-15. This post will look at the first two verses of this passage.

"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10).

These verses are intended to address the issue of women conducting themselves in a manner where their behavior does not mar the way that others either view God are that hinders another person's ability to commune with Him. These verses are calling women to decency, propriety, modesty, and good deeds. These are not culturally bond principles; however, specific examples offered are, to an extent, culturally relative.

In this day and age, the proper application of this passage would therefore require an understanding of what adornment is excessive, immodest, or improper. As a result, there must be consideration given for the individual and social differences between various cultures in our world today. What may be viewed as appropriate attire in one country may be considered to be immodest in another. As Christians, it is therefore important to remain in touch with our own culture but also to be sensitive to the differences found in other cultures as well.

Can you be a radical woman in the church - Part 1

So the ongoing debate over women's roles in the church is as strong as ever. It seems that each side of the argument has their own understanding of what 1 Timothy 2:9-15 actually means. As a society, the church is encouraged to view women and men as equals without any distinctions in function or role. In my previous posts, I have shared some of my own ideas as to the equality yet distinctness between men and women. However, it is my intention to take several posts to look at 1 Timothy 2:9-15 verse by verse before giving applications.

With that said, it is my intention to emphasize that women are to exercise their God-given spiritual gifts within the biblical parameters that they are given in 1 Timothy 2:9-15 out of obedience to God. Despite what many "scholars" may teach about verse 12 as being an attempt by Paul to counteract unruly women do not hold a proper foundation for consideration. As such, it can be concluded that it is not God's will for women to teach or have authority over men in the the church. Therefore, the position of elder and pastor-teacher (defined further later) are to be reserved for men.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Timothy%202:9-15&version=NIV

Leaving a biblical legacy for your kids - part 1

As a mother, it is our responsibility to leave a biblical legacy for our children. I think one of the most important aspects of this legacy is that God created woman to be a helper. This is not to say that they are to be less than their male counterparts, but rather are to help them.

According to Genesis 1, God is the reference point for all of life. It is also this same God that created mankind in His image (Genesis 1:27). This means that God created both men and women in his image. However, He also created us uniquely different yet equal. How can this be you might ask? Many who hold to a feminist mindset say that this equality must mean sameness. As a result, many woman are confused about this very thing. The best way that I can explain this is to use the example of the Holy Trinity to describe this delicate balance. Each of the members of the Trinity are equal to one another yet have very distinct roles. This same unity and diversity is reflecting in the relationship between men and women, particularly in the marriage relationship. In no way do I mean to imply that a woman needs to be married to fully reflect the image of God.

So what does this have to do with leaving a legacy for your kids?

My mom boldly proclaimed the truth to each of her five children about what it means to be a radical woman for God. I saw first hand her desire to embrace her helper design in her relationship with my father, as well as in her interactions with other people in the community and the church. It was her example that made the most impact on my understanding of a woman's design to be life-givers in all of our relationships. Adam also rejoiced in and recognized this role in Eve (Genesis 3:20). All women are called to this life-giving role of being nurturing, comforting, and caring. We are to be active in our communities, and compassionate with others, not seeking our own self-fulfillment and completeness. Too many women today have abandoned this design and are no longer life-givers. Instead they are life-takers and are in search of their own happiness, but continually find themselves falling short.

So what exactly is radical womanhood?

So in this day and age, we are bombarded by a number of influences from our culture as well as various historical perspectives. It seems everyone has an idea about our role in the home, workplace, church, and in society. It has become all to common for the women in the church to allow these influences to cloud the vision that God has for women. Radical womanhood is an attempt for women to not only understand how the waves of feminism have directly impacted their view of womanhood, but also for them to understand what they can do now in response.

Radical womanhood is not intended to be anti-women. On the contrary it seeks to present the pro-woman truth found in the Bible, and then challenges encourages them to take a radical stance so that we can live as a savvy biblical women in a modern world. The ideas presented here are intended to be relevant for women of all ages, and from all walks of life. God's truth is meant to equip women from all perspectives and backgrounds, whether young or old, married or single.

The ideas presented here are not new ideas, but are still very relevant for today. They are based largely on the teaching of the Bible, but also found in the writings of McCulley, Grudem, Kendrick, Crabb, Parrott, Kostenberger and Schreiner, and Hunt and Thompson, just to name a few.

I am always open to further discussion and suggestions as to topics and issues to address here. Feel free to send me an email or leave a post with questions, recommendations, or comments.